And
that got me thinking - since the dept. of parks wants Wellington Hills to be a
money-maker ...
Here's a few biz suggestions:
1. Statistical analysis and pie-charts all indicate that oodles of people go to parks to smoke
marijuana. To cash in on this, the dept. of parks should invest in concession stands selling primo weed
and fresh scones.
2. Rent paint ball guns and sell tickets for
hiding in elevated hunter’s tree stands. Then, promote trail walkers to be
active, not passive* – encourage them to blow duck calls** as they naively enjoy nature unaware of the paintballers.
* Suggest they wear impact resistant eye wear.
** For sale in the park at the County’s Acme
Sporting Goods.
3. In the less developed 91.2% areas of the
park - rent, sell or lease all the necessary gear and accouterments for
alternative activities:
· On-trail
Motocross
· Demolition
Derbies
· Bungee
Jumps from Trees
· Boomerang
Tag
· Caber
Tossing
· Whack-A-Real-Mole
· Curling
· Lumberjack
Axe and Saw Competitions
· And,
the always popular, Beer Pong
4. Since this is a for-profit Snohomish County Park, The Redneck
Games would be perfect – some of the traditional events:
· Cigarette
Flip
· Bobbing
for Pig’s Feet
· Seed
Spitting
· Toilet
Seat Throwing
· Mud
Pit Belly Flop
· Big-Hair
Contest
· Wet-T-shirt
Contest
· Armpit
Serenade
· Greased
Pig Chases
· Cow
Pie Tossing
· Spitballing
· Dumpster
Diving
5. Sponsor MMA caged fights, including long-drawn-out matches between bureaucrats and fire ants.
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